Sitting. Waiting. Wishing.

So far, I’m holding up my end of the bargain. The gym has been a nearly daily occurrence and I have been to the grocery store twice this week to replenish my supply of fresh fruits and veggies. I feel more energetic and like I am really starting to turn around my bad habits. Although the fro-yo down the street is still my biggest vice, that’s not a habit I am willing to conquer just yet.

Now as far as the males go in my life... Well, that’s another story. On Friday, Zoe, Sandy and I went to Podunk to watch Paul’s softball games which I’m sure you’ll hear more about on Thursday. Well, Paul’s friend Dan is also on the team and has always been overly nice to all four of us whenever we see him. Now, before I continue, I need to just mention that last week, we went to a bar with Paul and Dan and Dan’s girlfriend was there. I will admit that I was feeling very friendly with the liquid courage that I had been downing, but a familiar song came on that only Dan and I knew. So of course, we ended up singing it together and I may or may not have had my arm around Dan. This sparked a huge dispute between Dan and his woman. Now, a week later, after casual conversation during the game, Paul springs on me that Dan is now single. I know its bad, but I really don’t feel bad because frankly, she must have been really insecure if one song changed their relationship (unless there was more trouble in paradise that I am just not aware of). Regardless, we spent the night after the game flirting but I don’t think Paul was too happy about it. He advised me at one point not to start anything with Dan, yet did not explain why the warning. I’m not worried because it’s not exactly like I’m looking for a relationship. Is it bad that I just enjoy the attention? I have not had even a second glance from any guy for almost 5 months. Can you blame me?

Then, yesterday I was at the pool with Zoe and she tells me that someone asked her if she thought I would go out with him. I was floored! Someone actually asked about me?! After much convincing, I find out that mystery man is Maverick, Zoe’s old roommate. Mav is cute and funny. The kind of guy you can stay at home with and still have a blast! But to be honest, I don’t really know him too well. But that’s that dating is for right? Anyway, Zoe says he was a great boyfriend in his last relationship, and I don’t doubt it. But would it be fair to see him when I’m still having almost nightly dreams about my ex? He doesn’t deserve that...

But what about me? What do i deserve? Do I deserve to be alone when the relationship I put everything into ended for things that I did not do wrong? I know it is biased for me to say, but I was a great girlfriend. I did everything right. So why am I the one alone? And more importantly, when will I be over him and finally get something great?
Not-So-Patiently Waiting, Jess